It was a matter of time before it all came downhill

I feel horrible.
I feel like I have no one.

I'm just crashing down, I'm just horribly depressed and no one knows it.
And no one can do anything about it.

I hide it around the boy
Who finally declared his love for me.
I just think it complicated things.
Not very surprising.

How am I supposed to deal with thing as the shock of its reinforcement hurts every time.
How do I put up with the potential sacrifice when I, for once in my life, just want things to go my way.

Granted, I have always put myself in a position where the easy option was not the way I would go about things, but I just want for once to not worry.

Obviously that's not going to happen. Obviously I'm going to be in fear, soaking up every moment I have trying to enjoy it, knowing that it could be the last time something of that magnitude and situation occurs.

It doesn't help that my friends just want to lecture.
Those who are around anyway.
But I guess they are real friends in that they don't fill me with false confidence.
But would it hurt for them just to see it my way?
and be there for me when I really need them.

Like now.

For your enjoyment.