Wide awake when I should be sleeping. I had eel rice bowl and a massive cherry coke. DELICIOUS, might I add. Served to me by a cute guy. I take cute guys for what they are - eye candy. And like candy, they look so good, but so bad for your health.
Speaking of health, I didn't have enough time to even exercise today. I know, the blasphemy in such a statement, I should be damned to Hell. I've had so much to do lately. Today consisted of going to class, napping, studying, taking a quiz, going to dinner, going to a friend's apartment, coming back to shower, going to a group meeting, procrastinating, studying and now staying awake. Yesterday was along the same lines of busy, and it will be like this for at least the next week...I need to start up on my speech for my public speaking class along with studying for my criminology class. Classes are starting to toughen up, and activity groups are finally starting to buckle down.
Fuck this cast. Seriously. It's gross. It's itchy. It's smelly. It needs to go...dammit. I really miss swimming so much. I hate being a few pounds overweight, and it hardly affects me, but the point of the matter is, I miss swimming. Biking is amazing, but i miss having awesome obliques. Poo
Anyway, because I have been really busy, I am actually relatively happy. I applied to be on the entertainment board at my school and got in. I was really happy. I am in the band committee and pretty much aced the interview. They had asked me if I go to shows, I pretty much listed all of what I did this summer. They asked me band names and I listed randomly the cranberries, which one of the interviewers liked. I knew I had the position.
I've also been getting involved in the sustainability sect of the extra curricular activities. I'm pretty much doing as much publicity as possible for the groups I'm in. They have this sustainability hut which i was trained for, if you want to call it that, and plan on helping out with it. I also plan on spreading the word, since I am in the outreach part. Just trying to do as much public relation related things.
My friend "Gina" has invited me to be a part of the Human Rights Group.
Fucking Gina, I haven't heard from her in sooo long. I thought she died off. But she lived on and now lives off campus. It is pretty weird, but I love how she called me and how we reconnected like nothing. I also love how much we have to tell each other. I really missed her.
I am making my social rounds and I feel like I'm doing an okay job. I try for the most part to be open, but once this cast comes off, I'm definitely doing some athletic type things, like going on hiking trips or something along those lines. Who knows, I just pray that I don't need the cast for ANOTHER 6 weeks. That would be pretty ridiculous. And I would probably kill myself.
It pains a bit, so I'm pretty scared that I did something to it and it still might be broken. Stupid bad circulation. You would think that by moving it around you would be able to at least get some blood flowing to fix the stupid bone. Whatever.
As much as I might be making new acquaintances, I need more friends to hang out with. I want to go places and do things, but I really don't want to go by myself.
But I guess I'm going to start. I mean, after college, what do i have? Just a world with lackluster jobs and inactive zombies. Lovely right? So I need to start up with doing things for myself.
I'm surprised to be writing in such a good mood. Lately I've been kind of down and feeling a bit alone. I guess it might have been the hormones after the monthly cycle that occurs with us women. Gotta love menstruation.
In the guy department- I made out with a guy at a party. I did it because it was kind of a dance party and I got carried away with it. Pheromones are horrible. I don't care about the kid. I just did it to do it. Got away with it. Love it.
No one really takes my fancy. It kind of sucks. and the ones that do appeal to me, of course they like the blonds with big boobs or gay. Not much I can do in either department...well I could, but I would look just as bad as some of the girls I see around here who really need to rethink their look.
There is this one guy that wanders around the plaza, I need to find out his name. He is such a spiffy dresser, cute too. I'll approach him tomorrow I suppose.
I saw She Wants Revenge, and met them. Epic day.
I got an industrial piercing. It seems to be doing well...just as long as I don't get those nasty bumps. I go home this weekend, so I can only wonder what the reaction will be to them. I surely can't hide them forever, especially when I am getting my hair trimmed.
Things are going, which is what I need.
I hope that the next bump in the road is minor.
We'll just have to wait and see.
For your entertainment
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Official Crush
I thought there was something wrong with me. There might be. But I've been better. There was a bit of depression, but I managed to get over it. I thought that I was all lonely and all that crap, and the truth is, I am. My friends, I can't tell which are true and which aren't (well...I know two individuals have proven themselves without a doubt) but I guess I just have to live life like that. It kind of sucks, but I guess that's why they tell you to treasure your youth. I say I have.
I don't know why I've been bitching about that kind of shit. I've been out partying.
Alot.
Last weekend I went to four parties in two days. Labor day weekend I went to Lucy's party, hung out with friends, and went to a show. Then hung around my awesome group of social outcast friends.
The last party of the weekend before labor day was pretty intense. I remember a lot of wine and we ended up going to a club that jams out techno beats. We were all pretty plastered. I remember making out with two girls and one of their boyfriends. Pretty intense. Bianca asked me if I enjoyed making out with the girls, I told her I was too drunk to care. The boyfriend... I had some sort of attraction to, but it just kind of screws up the group dynamic. He told me that he finds me attractive and if he didn't have a girlfriend he would have gone after me. Which is great, obviously flattering...but now I have to be a bitch to him and completely avoid him, because I don't want his girlfriend to think i'm after him. YAY DRAMA
Lucy's party was fun. I didn't get smashed like the initial time (it was my second party of the weekend before labor day weekend, and I was feeling kind of blue, I decided to have two shots of desorona, two of gold schlogger on top of the already consumed shot of tequila and cranberry and vodka. Needless to say I passed out). I met a few people. I remember only a few. I stuck to this guy who was practically seven foot. I litterally attached myself to him for a good while. He wanted to flirt with the girlies, so I decided to leave because all i need is psuedo rejection to kill my buzz. Sam, one of Lucy's friends, was drunk and pretty much was spitting game...I had attended a summer party of Lucy's back home and was in a toga, because that was the theme. He had told me in his drunken stupor that he thought that the hot pink toga with hearts and cross bones on it was sexy and he wanted to bang me. Flattery, of course. I just wanted some flattery. :)
Lately I've been trying to keep myself occupied socially and physically...since I can't swim. Rawr.
I've been doing well. I work out every now and then, and I have of course, been stuffing my face in. I ate a medium pizza just to see if i could. I could, along with two lava cakes. So bad for you, but so good tasting.
I managed to get sick. It was a crappy three days. It was strep throat (gee, I wonder where I could have gotten that from?) The people in charge of my dorm's saftey came in and told me to avoid all contact with public. Swine flu and all that rubbish. Nope. Strep throat. Lovely.
I've been going to Krishna lunch and talking to people. It's been pretty good. My gays go out there. That makes me horribly happy. Evan is my head gay. He rocks my socks pretty hard. I also have the vegetarian/vegan friends that I met last year while I was working for the Krishnas.
But since I am no longer employed, I am able to roam freely. Liberating feeling of enjoyment. I get most of my social interaction through Krishna Lunch.
I have had a few guys coming on to me. I haven't been feeling it. There is one that could have acted maybe last year, I would have totally taken him up on his offer...but for whatever reason, I'm not interested. Another is handicapped, and as horrible as I say this, that is a massive detterent. It's not that I don't sympathize the handicapped, my dad is legally blind and hard of hearing. I know a thing or two of having to deal with people that have disabilitie--physical, mental, emotional, whatever. It's just... I see what my mom goes through. It's really tough stuff. I'm not a caretaker, and I'm pretty selfish, I wish I had the compassion to see another way...but I am unable to. It also doesn't help the guy that I am not physically attracted to him.
But then.
I met a guy.
Well, finally managed a conversation with him. I've seen him a many times last year
and I informally established my existence to him when I saw him walking towards me with a frown and told him to smile. I had just seen him so many times go through the lunch line. I do that sometimes, tell people to smile, I get it from my mom, she does it to me all the time.
Then I introduced myself to him when I was serving Krishna Lunch, when I worked for them. We shall call him Seth. I found him on my way to my dorm one day, as I was escaping a bad conversation... and actually had a conversation with him. He's very built, it kind of deters me, I like them skinny, but I guess I need to lower my standards if I find some attraction to him. He's half Pakistani, but looks like he could be Greek. He is a real spiffy dresser. But from my experience in those that are Pakistani, they have a tendency to have a massive sense of style.
I am kind of crushing on him. I don't want to get too excited. But it's been a while since I've crushed on anyone. I feel kind of weird. I'm trying not to get overly obsessive and I want to get him out of my head. Replace him with our university's star quarter back or something. I can't guarentee that he's not gay or taken or even interested in me.
He's real smart...double major and double minor.
I wish I had his work ethic.
He plays the trumpet.
UGGGGHHHHHHH, it will end in disaster, and I shouldn't stalk him or become overly weird.
I just need to tell myself:
I don't want anything
I don't want anything
I don't want anything.
Eventually I'll believe myself.
Tomorrow is another day. I'll just take it one at a time.
I don't know why I've been bitching about that kind of shit. I've been out partying.
Alot.
Last weekend I went to four parties in two days. Labor day weekend I went to Lucy's party, hung out with friends, and went to a show. Then hung around my awesome group of social outcast friends.
The last party of the weekend before labor day was pretty intense. I remember a lot of wine and we ended up going to a club that jams out techno beats. We were all pretty plastered. I remember making out with two girls and one of their boyfriends. Pretty intense. Bianca asked me if I enjoyed making out with the girls, I told her I was too drunk to care. The boyfriend... I had some sort of attraction to, but it just kind of screws up the group dynamic. He told me that he finds me attractive and if he didn't have a girlfriend he would have gone after me. Which is great, obviously flattering...but now I have to be a bitch to him and completely avoid him, because I don't want his girlfriend to think i'm after him. YAY DRAMA
Lucy's party was fun. I didn't get smashed like the initial time (it was my second party of the weekend before labor day weekend, and I was feeling kind of blue, I decided to have two shots of desorona, two of gold schlogger on top of the already consumed shot of tequila and cranberry and vodka. Needless to say I passed out). I met a few people. I remember only a few. I stuck to this guy who was practically seven foot. I litterally attached myself to him for a good while. He wanted to flirt with the girlies, so I decided to leave because all i need is psuedo rejection to kill my buzz. Sam, one of Lucy's friends, was drunk and pretty much was spitting game...I had attended a summer party of Lucy's back home and was in a toga, because that was the theme. He had told me in his drunken stupor that he thought that the hot pink toga with hearts and cross bones on it was sexy and he wanted to bang me. Flattery, of course. I just wanted some flattery. :)
Lately I've been trying to keep myself occupied socially and physically...since I can't swim. Rawr.
I've been doing well. I work out every now and then, and I have of course, been stuffing my face in. I ate a medium pizza just to see if i could. I could, along with two lava cakes. So bad for you, but so good tasting.
I managed to get sick. It was a crappy three days. It was strep throat (gee, I wonder where I could have gotten that from?) The people in charge of my dorm's saftey came in and told me to avoid all contact with public. Swine flu and all that rubbish. Nope. Strep throat. Lovely.
I've been going to Krishna lunch and talking to people. It's been pretty good. My gays go out there. That makes me horribly happy. Evan is my head gay. He rocks my socks pretty hard. I also have the vegetarian/vegan friends that I met last year while I was working for the Krishnas.
But since I am no longer employed, I am able to roam freely. Liberating feeling of enjoyment. I get most of my social interaction through Krishna Lunch.
I have had a few guys coming on to me. I haven't been feeling it. There is one that could have acted maybe last year, I would have totally taken him up on his offer...but for whatever reason, I'm not interested. Another is handicapped, and as horrible as I say this, that is a massive detterent. It's not that I don't sympathize the handicapped, my dad is legally blind and hard of hearing. I know a thing or two of having to deal with people that have disabilitie--physical, mental, emotional, whatever. It's just... I see what my mom goes through. It's really tough stuff. I'm not a caretaker, and I'm pretty selfish, I wish I had the compassion to see another way...but I am unable to. It also doesn't help the guy that I am not physically attracted to him.
But then.
I met a guy.
Well, finally managed a conversation with him. I've seen him a many times last year
and I informally established my existence to him when I saw him walking towards me with a frown and told him to smile. I had just seen him so many times go through the lunch line. I do that sometimes, tell people to smile, I get it from my mom, she does it to me all the time.
Then I introduced myself to him when I was serving Krishna Lunch, when I worked for them. We shall call him Seth. I found him on my way to my dorm one day, as I was escaping a bad conversation... and actually had a conversation with him. He's very built, it kind of deters me, I like them skinny, but I guess I need to lower my standards if I find some attraction to him. He's half Pakistani, but looks like he could be Greek. He is a real spiffy dresser. But from my experience in those that are Pakistani, they have a tendency to have a massive sense of style.
I am kind of crushing on him. I don't want to get too excited. But it's been a while since I've crushed on anyone. I feel kind of weird. I'm trying not to get overly obsessive and I want to get him out of my head. Replace him with our university's star quarter back or something. I can't guarentee that he's not gay or taken or even interested in me.
He's real smart...double major and double minor.
I wish I had his work ethic.
He plays the trumpet.
UGGGGHHHHHHH, it will end in disaster, and I shouldn't stalk him or become overly weird.
I just need to tell myself:
I don't want anything
I don't want anything
I don't want anything.
Eventually I'll believe myself.
Tomorrow is another day. I'll just take it one at a time.
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