So he broke up with me.
Through text message, but that's not surprising. He was after all a bit of a...well...bitch.
It hurt so much. All I wanted was him to come back to me, but I knew he wasn't going to.
I ached. I pained. I cried. I moaned.
I spiraled out of control, again.
I called for help.
Someone, finally objective enough told me: Don't spend your time crying over him if you know he is not hurting as well.
And it was true.
Things slowly began to look up. And I seemed to have this evolution of sorts.
I was
HAPPY.
This strange emotion seemed to fill in the void of depression. Of course the pain of my attachment would recur in random fragments of the day, but overall I was happy. I was social. I was motivated to show the world a new, improved, better ME.
Sometimes I would feel sudden stabs, as I've mentioned before, but I got up even more determined to get on with life.
This mama's boy tard was not going to break me.
I went out. Clubbed. Partied. SOCIALIZED, oh my, have I missed the company of friends willing to GO OUT of their homes and DO SOMETHING.
I started watching what I eat...mainly through Krishna lunch, which is a semi-religious organization that serves vegetarian/vegan food. But hey, it's a start.
I started working out almost every day.
So far I've lost five lbs, but my legs and arms look amazing and my stomach is slowly following.
I'm happy. I'm even sort of kind of dating this grad/law student.
Better than anyone who is going to be an air traffic controller.
Things are looking up. I just need to better manage my time.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
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