Things have been better. I've felt better. No need to Baker act me people, I'm too much of a coward/rational person to pursue anything that would purposely harm me.
I've been thinking about commemorating my friend's death. Her roommate/practical sister as tatted herself up. I'm not sure if I would be capable of doing so. There are so many repercussions...I wish sometimes I was as impulsive.
The boy situation is...who knows.
I feel pretty okay about it at the moment, but his mom reminds me too much of... me.
Which is kind of creepy.
I'm not sure I want to deal with his family. I'll mainly be shut away in his room with nothing to say and have no option of anything. I thought at first it would be nice to spend some time with him, but now I'm looking into just renting a car. He obviously doesn't want me around otherwise he would have thought of it and he's hardly putting forth effort in being with me.
I just want to go home. I want to be with my horrible chaotic family and want to die there instead of wanting to have a heart attack in a household that has no idea how much I resent them.
The mom is sweet, but I wonder if she even likes me. I mean she seems to... but I still feel like some resentment is there.
I sort of just want to call the whole thing off and not deal with men anymore.
Not have to deal with long distance relationships, as I always get sucked into them. Ugh.
I got back and forth on the thought of just breaking it off and starting fresh(ish).
I think it will be easier when I'm in Chicago. I'll be surprised if the relationship lasts that long.
Let alone if I'll time for a relationship.
Who knows.
At this point I just want to go back to sleep and not let my mind drift into thoughts that will plague me.
For your enjoyment.
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