The summer is about to close

I have a hard time keeping up with writing in this thing
Or in my journal.

I feel like I don't document my emotions anymore because I don't care to hold on to the grudges, the wasted lustful, or loving emotions.

I just continue onto what's next.

That's pretty much what I've been doing this summer.
Chaos has erupted, as always.
But simpler things like friendship have persuaded me into enjoying the bits of home.

I feel like I've done so much. Even if others have traveled to different countries, interned in other states or stayed in the University for school, I can say I fully enjoyed my summer.

I've made new friends and strengthened the ones I knew already.
In order for this to happen, the link that held us all as a group was broken.
Sadly on her part, but after realization of her depressive, pushy ways, I wasn't about to go out of my way any more to hang out with her.
Her friends felt the same way. We close the gap and have been hanging out since.

I hung out with my ex and he brought a friend. I became his friend and he introduced me to more friends and got my best friend a replacement boyfriend. I just hope she doesn't forget about me.

All in all, that's my only concern at this point.

I don't want to be abandoned by my friends for potential lovers.
A treacherous thought, but incredibly possible.
Especially since I hang out with a bunch of guys.
How many guys do you know hang out with their "chick" (for lack of a better word, girl friend would only have made it more complicated in contexts) friends?
Not many.

It's incredibly disheartening. Especially when I've lived it in one specific case. My friend in my freshman year, early sophomore, we were inseparable. He found a girlfriend and I never hear from him.
I don't want to live a life of using up a friendship until they, or I (although doubtful) find a mate.

Is that what life is all about?

We are only destined to be with one other person.

That bores the hell out of me.

Even with having friends that are girls, on my part. It's the same process.

No matter what I do, if I try for love or try for friendship, I'm going to be alone.

What bullocks.



I want a pug.
My friend's mom breeds them. I have fallen in love with that dog. I seriously want a pug with that much spunk and love and enthusiasm for seeing me.

I guess if I had one it would absolve my fear of being alone, until it died, I suppose. Too bad I won't be able to have one for some time. Damn apartment.

I'm trying to get another job for while I'm in school. I only hope that it goes through. I've sent out my resume to about ten law firms, with probably typo'd out antics on the paper. But I just will have to wait for a response.

I guess in a week I'll fax them if they don't respond.
I wouldn't know where else to work. That's pretty much the bulk of my working experience, in an office. More than what most can say, but how I manage to get these jobs, I'll never know.


As usual, the boy realm is vast and empty.
Nothing really surprising there.

Well, not much more to add at the moment.

For your enjoyment