I need new friends, a new life, and a new job

This apartment thing has me incredibly stressed out.

I misread the contract and saw that if I don't get the grantor in soon, I'll lose all of my money.
All one thousand one hundred and fifty.

The funny thing is, at this point I really don't care...well obviously I do, otherwise I wouldn't be so stressed out, but I just wish my mom would have listened to reason, well my reasoning.

I'll give them a call tomorrow. I'm just freaking out about all of this. It's pretty much the same situation I was in when I left my laptop cord at home.

Ugh. They called me in the middle of Krishna Lunch and I freaked out.

Just thinking about it makes me all emotionally congested and now I just pray to god things get done a lot quicker. I wish they would have done priority mail. It takes four days for the mail to come in.

On top of that stress. I need to deny the application of two people seeking me out. I need to find a job in west palm beach. I need to find some stability in my life. I need to find a new bike tire because my other one exploded...who knows how.

I've been so crummy feeling..... I just want some change.

I need new friends.
I know I keep saying that but I really want it to happen.

I keep doing something wrong.
What am I doing wrong that I can't find these people?

Was I born to just be isolated?
If so, then what is this mental craving to meet new people and interact with them?
Not even new people. Just have more closer friends?
I feel that everything I say comes back to having a boyfriend.

Or girlfriend.

At this point I don't care.
I'd want a butch one though. Like that transgender in my feelings class. He's pretty hot. I knew he was a she, but was still attracted to him.
Or that one that was on the television for millionaire's club. She was pretty hot also.

I don't care.

They don't even have to be romantically involved. I just someone to do things with.

Sometimes I feel myself go and think about taking advantage of some people, like this kid who I hooked up with my freshman year. I dumped him and remained friends with him. He's crazy about me still.

It's not that he's a bad person. It's not that he doesn't have a good personality. It's not that he's not attractive. We just don't click.

He hugged me and spun me around. I didn't want to be dipped so I wrapped his legs around him. I think it got him a little swooned. He then kissed me. He's kissed me before. I just ignored it. Why make it a big deal? It was a peck on the cheek. But that's how I know he's crazy about me.

There are a few people i could name actually that are pretty crazy over me.
Him
some guy in the other city I went to
some guy back home
some guy who already graduated...
well that's only a few.

Probably a few more. Whatever.
Does it matter? No. I need to be focusing on my studies instead of just moping...but today just sucked so I had to emo it out.