Cock Blocking Tendencies

I finished my internship. I don't think I could have been happier.

The thing is- I was stressing about getting a job. Finally got a job. And then finding out that the job is a mass corporation of people. Which isn't all that bad, but there is no meshing. I was pretty much the odd ball out. I was the youngest. Probably the poorest (not saying I'm poor...just not as well off as other individuals I know) I was Hispanic, and most of my interactions were with white people (not that I have anything against the white people, if anyone knows me, they know that I'm very partial to that ethnic group). I was either smarter or not as smart as the individuals I had to deal with. It was incredibly frustrating. That and I had to be on the constant look out for unstimulated projects. I only got close to "Violet", and even then, she wasn't any of the higher up positions. I felt pretty down on myself and probably ate my feelings away.

I immediately lost weight the moment I stopped working. I know that sounds pretty dumb, but I did. I managed more sleep, wasn't snacking as much due to stress...I've pretty much lost the five pounds I gained while working. Granted I still have probably another ten to go before I go to the ideal weight, but I'm working on at least another five to be perfectly okay with myself.
I never want to have a job if it means weight gain.

Things are working out. This makes me hopeful and anxious for the good things to start.
I'm excited to go back and see the people I made friends with, the people I met to be better friends with, and making new friends. I definitely won't have another opportunity like this. I'm one year done, and I have three more to go. It's sad to know that time goes by so fast, but that's why I have to make the most of every moment.

And I will. :)

* * *

This sucks though. I have to pretty much hunt down for a job once I get back into school... Or at least in December. Calls up the wazzoo and sending my resume left and right. Well...at least it will guarantee what I will be doing for the summer. I was really lucky to be given my internship.

The guy that helped me out with my internship will be referred to as "Stuart." He is my angel. He is in charge of the 2012 class concerning scholarships. Since it's a renewable scholarship, we have to reapply every year and interview every year. At my last interview they had asked me what I was doing that summer and I, nearly about to cry, my eyes filled with water almost about to burst, told them I had applied to literally forty, if not more, places and had been searching for something to do over the summer. The panel replied that they would help me get a job.

The next day I get a call from the staff recruiter concerning a job interview. I was stunned. I then told my ex boyfriends mom and she told me that a man whom I met before to talk about the possibility of going to Brown knew some of the shareholders. He recommended me on top of that. Score for me.

Either way, I was INCREDIBLY grateful to Stuart, I have no idea how I would be able to repay him.

* * *

Today was the scholarship luncheon. I invited Ari, because I felt like she would be able to enjoy a free lunch, even if it was just okay. But free food is free food, so no complaints on my part. So we sat next to a girl who I knew back in elementary school. "Carol" has been a really sweet sociable person, and I like talking to her mom, because she doesn't understand English and I am able to speak Spanish with her, which I know I can always brush up on those skills (the one thing I know I did when I was talking to "Alberto" the custodian at work).
So we sat and I chatted to Carol, then come this stunningly beautiful man. I eyed him up and down. He was checking me out (totally caught him! I would look down and looked back up with a smile and he averted his eyes TEEHEE). He was tall, nicely built, blue eyes (all I need, blue eyes and a nice smile, I remember telling that to Jake. I wonder if he ever picked up on the obvious pickup...), blond hair-- the typical American boy (haha, I know it's hypocritical, me discussing how I have to compete with the typical American girl, but I can't help that this boy was gorgeous) His name was "George." George mentioned something about to a sitting board member about his school, and like a switch I squeal our mascot and he looks at me with that big wonderful smile and asks if i go to his school. I said yes, obviously, and we started to discuss the usual major, school experience, possibly jobs...and like most guys I know he ends up talking about himself.

Side-note: Guys never ask stuff about me. Which is fine, I don't mind it. If anything I prefer it that way, I manage to get more control over whether I rebuff or accept advances, but isn't the job of guys supposed to be making the girl talk about herself? When did that change? I guess these types of things change with the level of arrogance.

He's a mechanical engineer, he worked designing air plane seats for the rich and fabulous of the friggin world. I was pretty impressed. So we continue talking and then some big fat ho comes in and sits between us (it was a circular table and we were sitting across from each other) and completely interrupts our conversation. He was then saying things to me, but without specifically stating that they were questions to me, and so she answers them.

Side-note: I later told Ari, "I love how that ho completely cock blocked us." She responded, "I know, I saw your face." I laughed, because I know how transparent I am. I wonder who else noticed, you know just for kicks.

So the incoming freshmen go up to accept their awards, and then sophomores, which I am a second year, but with about as many credits as a junior, that's not the point of it. They have us go up and tell the audience about ourselves and answer a question. Which I love to do. The sophomore's questions was what advice would you give to the incoming freshman- I mentioned to get as involved as possible, get to know the people around you and your surroundings. Stuart is in charge of our class, as I mentioned before, and he was handing out the scholarships. I went in to shake his and and bent over to whisper something to him.

"Thank you so much for the internship, you have no idea how much I appreciate it."
I've always wanted to do one of those lean-in whispers. It makes you look official. I always see the president do it. It just seems so high brow. I friggin love it.

I sat down and George looks at me with his flattering eyes and smile and said, "that was nice." If only he was a pursuer.

The lunch continued on and ended. Afterward people came around to talk, George came and found me. I found out where he lived in the town. A bunch of people came and I noticed a few people I wanted to talk to, old friends really. I excused myself to talk to them and then we took picture. I couldn't find him afterwards... I was a bit upset. But I guess he just wasn't that into me or misinterpreted my actions. Sadness. If it was meant to be, I'll find him at school.
I doubt that though, seeing as he is an engineer major.

Then Stuart approached me and I thanked him a billion times. He is so humble and sweet. I wish to find a man like him in my life that I can marry.
" I know you wanted to do something in law...and I know it wasn't the most challenging of work," he mentioned.
"You have to start somewhere," I interrupted with a smile that was plastered on my face.
I thanked him even more.

Then came another cock block move, in the sense of brown nosing. By this I mean I was excited to finally tell him how much I appreciated his minor effort in my summer, which made a MAJOR contribution. And here comes some dumb BROAD, probably eavesdropping here and there thinking I'm thanking him for the scholarship. So she comes up and pretty much thanks him for the scholarship.

I'm the type of person to sense the ass kissery upon first instance. Most people will be able to not even notice. It sucks to be so aware of people sometimes...Anything anyone tells you about me, I promise you their first words will be far from "ass-kisser" or anything related to that sense. They will say, shallow, self-centered, high maintenance, and sometimes selfish. Qualities which I acknowledge despite their connotations (I'm pretty self aware). So when I make an effort to be appreciative and thankful of what you have done for me. It's pretty apparent that I'm being genuine. It just felt so tainted having the 'talented' ass kisser refute my efforts and make them seem like it was just a ploy to get ahead in the social ladder.

I work my way up, not pile a bunch of shit and hope to get there that way.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be so aggravated if this Broad didn't blindly and with unjustified ignorance insult me at a party.
At a party she found out my National background, and asked, "Are you Mexican?" I responded yes. I have no problem telling people and feel no shame for being Mexican, just detest the stereotype that many portray with being Mexican. I'm more Spaniard/Basque than Native Mexican (hardly a percentage), but my family did reside in that area, and therefore I would be Mexican.
She then replied, "Then why aren't you out mowing the lawn right now?"

Ignorant Prejudiced Bitch.

Of course I stormed out of the party and was soon comforted by my ex-boyfriend. The host apologized for her. She didn't even apologize herself.

Here's the Clincher: She was Cuban.

The host suggested that I could make fun of her for that. But I've had amazing Cuban friends. Even if I didn't have amazing Cuban friends, I would never stoop low enough to throw someone underneath the bus and ridicule them in such a manner. It's petty and uneducated.

It just makes me feel better that she's gained a lot of weight.

Later I went with Ari to crash the beach, which conveniently was close by. We were out long enough for me to renew my tan. We talked. We hung out. I really love that woman. I sometimes worry that I won't have anything to tell her. But whenever we hang out, it's usually a nice flow of chatter. It always makes me happy when I think about it.
Then we crashed Jumba Juice. I had some amazing Blackberry smoothie. I died happy.

I love blackberries so much. I have no idea where this taste came from, but I simply adore the fruit.

We then closed the hangout to continue it later with a trip to the water park. Hope all goes well with that.



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